mylife.mystory

2009-09-21T15:01:00.002+08:00

thanks everybody for your encouragements. sorry i'm too lazy to thank you guys one by one but please know that i'm grateful. right now it's just waiting. but waiting is plain boRING.

please wait

2009-09-16T17:35:00.002+08:00

finally my third round of treatment is almost over. and i'm feeling all fine again. it looks like things are getting better than expected. i know i can't really expect more, but i still miss school and my friends:)

final year exam should be round the corner. i know it- the ultimate mugging period. after it would be the best days of my lives, and we'll get promoted to sec4. but all these can only belong as part of my imagination right now.

but, please wait for me.

back

2009-08-29T18:39:00.000+08:00

i'm finally home!!!
it may feel a bit different, for now
and there're still many troublesome precautions that i must take
like wearing mask at home!
and not touching things without cleaning them
and the list goes on...
but i still love the feeling that i'm back

the moment

2009-08-27T13:18:00.000+08:00

hey guys,
i won't be posting to often le.
it's just that my life's too boring.
and basically i have no mood/drive to keep this blog VERY alive
so please understand, yah?

okay, so after many weeks of waiting and waiting... i am finally going to be discharged! most probably this weekend. i'm sick of everything here, seriously. but still, i can't go out even when i'm at home. i feel like i'm being imprisoned. gaaah no choice lor.

anyway, i'm halfway done in my treatment. so far i'm still alright and i hope this will last for the next two ones. although i know i must still go through some scary things in time to come.

missed

2009-08-15T16:50:00.002+08:00

today mr ng came to the hospital
talked to my parents
and handed to me the things you guys made.
& of course the teachers
seriously, thanks for everything
i can't expect more.

the card, the book and the monkey
:)

makes me miss school even more...

ranting

2009-08-11T11:35:00.000+08:00

it have been weeks since i last posted
i apologise for that
anyway i'm glad that you guys are still reading this almost dead blog
thankyou lots & lots:D

well, i have been very "occupied"
resting and fighting off infections.
that's the risk of chemo.

it's tiring.
the pain, the thoughts
it's dull.
same place, same routine
okay, i shall stop ranting.

IT

2009-07-24T11:40:00.003+08:00

omg.
yesterday night was one of the worse night ever
i have no idea why
my fever suddenly came.
the doctor said it is common.
but that would mean
longer hospital stay!!!

aiya, forget it lah.

later i'll be going for some injection at the back
feeling a bit nervous now
cause after the injection,
i have to lie on the bed for 4-6 hours
to prevent headache and nausea
sucks right?
no choice lor.

bye:D

here i am

2009-07-23T11:57:00.002+08:00

hello world,
the past few days i was deprived of the laptop
that's why i've not been updating

i've thought it through.
thankfully.
right now,
i should just concentrate on getting well
the rest are of less priority

right here
i consider myself lucky.
i've seen many worse cases
but they too remain so positive
i should learn:)

haha
just to update you guys with my condition
i know i've once said that i'll be discharged soon
but sadly
i think this dream may not come true too soon
people of my illness have very weak immune system
we are very prone to infections
that will cause fever and so on

furthermore,
i've only completed the first round of chemo
and at these early stage
my body is at its most vulnerable point.
so the white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets are very low.

damn the ulcers in my mouth.
ouch
i can't even bite!
which means no good food for me:(
it sucks. BAD.

hey
and do update me with school stuff.
fill me with smses:D
i don't mind
just to keep me occupied
LOL
jkjk
if not free nevermind.

there's still a long enduring road for me to go.

helpless

2009-07-21T10:02:00.002+08:00

the first round of chemo is over.
i'm free
now i'm just waiting for my immune system to be up
before i can be discharged

the doctor said that
staying positive
already wins you half of the battle.
i agree.
and i'm trying hard to
but right now,
i still can't
i'm too used to the life i once had

fear not.
i'm not worried about not recovering
i will
in fact many patients do get well

but
it takes time
a year maybe
i heard of cases whereby patients fully recover
and return to school
but they usually repeat the same year.

i don't know why.
but seriously,
i don't want to repeat.
it is as good as losing everything
your friends...

it just sucks.
but i have to be mentally prepared
my mind is going crazy...

counting down

2009-07-18T08:58:00.002+08:00

hello guys
i have decided to keep this blog alive
as much as possible.

everything seems to be better now.
i'm still counting down to the day i will be discharged
which is just a few more days.

chemotheraphy is making me weak
so after i'm discharged
i must really make much adjustments
to my lifestyle.
so as to strengthen my body

before the next round of cycle.

i've thought it through over.
it's not too bad after all.
at least at this stage, it's still curable:)
BUT WITH LOTS OF DETERMINATION LAH.

why

2009-07-17T09:13:00.003+08:00

these few days,
i have been thinking hard.

why now?
why now at this particular moment?

why not when i'm younger?

like most of the patients here.
when they have no idea what this illness is all about.
when they do not need to think of life's myriad problems.
when they have no workload whatsoever.

they can just be carefree.
and since they possess no knowledge at all,
at least they will feel more at ease.
and perhaps just believe in the "lies" and everything.
and just cry when in pain.
because it's normal for their age.

why not when i'm older?

when i've accomplised eveything.
when i've taken care of what i have to.
when i have the time of the world to nurse my illness
and hopefully recover with the help of my loved ones.

but why now?

when the whole world is upon me.
when there is so much school work load on me.
when this is supposed to be the best time of everybody's life.
when i know so much that makes me scared.

but please.
this is reality.
you have NO answers.

seriously,
i'm kind of scared of everyday that has to come.
the injections
the therapy
the transfussion
i just wish everything is going to pass by quickly.
i just wish i can battle through all obstacles.
this is going to be a tough one.

the only thing i look forward to now
is MEAL TIME:)
i have no idea why.
i think it is because eating is the only normal thing that i can do now.
and i admit the food here is quite yummy.
but sometimes, i still have to fast.
cause of some procedures lor.

damn.

once again.
don't worry.
I WILL BE BACK
for sure.

but firstly
走一步，看一步。

keep going on

2009-07-16T11:37:00.005+08:00

hey guys
it's been ages since i last blogged.
as you know about my condition,
i'm currently hospitalised.
haha and i'm using the hospital laptop now:)

hmmm don't worry about me.
i'm quite fine at the moment.
i admit i'm
shocked.
crushed.
helpless.
and just practically lost
when i heard of it initially.

why must it be me?
it's like came so sudden.
but at least it's detected early lah.
and my condition is not life threatening.

but the first sad sad thing is that i have to be quarantined for quite long.
low immunity.
can't blame me:(
so anything just sms/ call me hor:)

the second sad sad thing is my:
DIET.
it sucks
i practically can't eat anything i like.
no fast food.
no ice cream
blah blah blah.
so can only consume healthy stuff lah

hmmm...
i realised that there are many young patients here too.
mainly younger than me.
so i'm not the only one.

currently in hospital
can't do much lah.
blood count low too.
so not much energy to do stuff.

i miss school.
i miss everything.
everything that i've once been able to do.

but sometimes
life's like that.
can't help it though.
have to accept reality
and keep going on.
stay strong.

i wanna stop here le.
if i don't stop here.
this post willl be kind of ENDLESS lah.
haha.

but before i end off,
i really sincerely wish that
1. i will be back to normal
2. i won't lack behind so much on my studies
3. i would want to promote to sec4 next year!

so please help me
when i'm discharged:D

promise ah-.-

p.s.

CONGRATUALTIONS:D
to my boat making team mates:)
you're so zai
thanks for not preventing our efforts go down the drain.
2nd place is great!
$200.
bleauhh.

anyway i missed mr yong's treat
so sad lah.

updates

2009-07-03T19:03:00.004+08:00

yo.
to whoever is still reading this humble blog of mine.
sorry for not updating for quite some time.
as you know, i'm busy.

to keep you up with my updates:

1. rig-building competition
it keeps us staying back every single day just to improve on our model.
competition is next tuesday.

2. O’水准华文口试
omg. take a deep breath. breathe in. relax.
scheduled on 13th july.
which is just a few more days.

3. elegance al esplanade @ esplanade 2009
was forced to go.
but i sort of enjoyed the concert:)
our performing arts are good mahh.

4. tee shirts
finally received our class tee-shirt.
and our PB shirt.
the green and blue are 'off '
hmmm. i think the picture function is down.
shucks.
what 'bout another day?

i feel different.
weaker?
i'm exhausted quickly.
muscles.
bones.
or lungs.
not working well again.
how to train?

okay.
but life has to go on.
tomorrow, there's CIP.
one day gone.
this seriously is tearing me down.
sunday we may still be doing on the rig project.

this is seriously hell.
an almost-reaching-breaking-point soul
signing off.

don't bother about me.
i'm faking all these.

transformers

2009-06-26T17:05:00.005+08:00

today, is sort of wasted.
came to school, intended to do our rig-thingy.
sure enough.
we tried.
tested it in our school's pond.
doesn't work again.
still unstable.
leaving us clueless.
we tried to contact mr yong and mr teng.
and both are not free.

so in the end, we suddenly wanted to catch a movie.
end up watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
with noel, weimin, yichao, weijian and checkhan.

haha.
we even sneaked in 6 sets of mcdonalds meal into the cinema
without being discovered:)

the movie was long. 147 minutes?
but overall, i feel it doesn't deserve its 0.5/5 stars rating.
according to the straits time.
it's much better than what i initially thought.

i'm back

2009-06-24T11:24:00.002+08:00

back from malaysia.
thankfully it is not one of those infected areas.
or else you would not see me on the first week of school.

fatigue.
feeling tired.
immobile.
but still, homework!!!
have to find that drive to chiong.
chiong hard.
4 more days.
D:

anyway.
please visit this website.
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/index.htm
and vote for extended holidays.
:D

insanity

2009-06-20T15:45:00.003+08:00

i just realised that i'm practically dead.
hmmm.
looking at my schedule.
i'm leaving for malaysia tomorrow.
coming back on tuesday.
there's chemistry remedial on wednesday.
i think we have one npcc supplementary training.
AND we have also CIP on the last day of the holdays.
so 2+1+1+1=5.
congratulations.
5 out of 7 days of my last week of holidays is gone.

hehe.
not to add on, there are still the:
my ship making competition!
my promotion preparation!!
my o levels oral!!!
FAINTS.

gosh.
lost of words.

quizzie

2009-06-19T12:25:00.003+08:00

Your Gift is Sensitivity

You are easily moved, and you have a strong emotional reaction to almost everything.

Your sensitivity helps you get a lot out of life. You appreciate every moment more.

It's hard for you to divorce yourself from your feelings. You notice every little thing around you.

You're the type of person who finds empathy and compassion easy.

What's Your Gift?

LMSC

2009-06-18T11:38:00.009+08:00

3 days have gone by just like this.
LMSC has ended.
and it was definitely a success:)
i admit i initially dreaded it.
but after the whole experience, i kind of enjoyed quite a bit.
yes, of course there were scoldings by the CIs and HOs
as our squad, DELTA, is generally quiet and don't volunteer much.
so day 1 was practically screwed for us.

but day 2 was the day when things got much better.
since we were more used to each other and bonded quite well,
there were like less difficulty communicating with one another.
and more of us began to 'sacrifise' ourselves by stepping up.
being the one leading was just so stressful lah.
imagining having all eyes on you (including those of your...)
but no matter what, just get over and done with.
treat it as a learning lesson.

day 3 was even better:)
our pioneering project was better than what we expected
our chair was quite imba to me
can even support zhen yang sir.
very strong eh?
i was like OMG.

then it was our SIT presentation.
my group only consist of me, clayton and those from other schools.
did some lame impromptu skit.
funny though.
i like our presentation on the mahjong paper.
neat and clear:)
sadly we did not manage to finish before the time limit.

lastly, it was the gradutation ceremony.
best trainee were all from chs.
shocking.
and we managed to beat everyone to be the best group:)
another shocking announcement.
think about how we started off.

thankyou delta sirs and ma'am:)
thankyou for the gifts too:)

other than the things we learnt during the lectures or hands-on
we also managed to forge new friendship:)
and now. it's back to reality.
the start of our NCOship.

remember:)
not now, then when?
not you, then who?

:))

* i don't wanna mention unpleasant things.

shipmaking

2009-06-13T15:16:00.003+08:00

hello readers:)

went for some ship-building today.
initially, we called for everybody taking part in the competition to come,
but in then end, only me, noel, weimin and weijian turned up.
so it was just the 4 of us + mr yong.

experimented with the pieces of syrofoam and plastic we brought.
and then went down to bras basah to buy some wood and glue.
mr yong bought us each a JACK'S PLACE set meal.
he damn kind(rich) lor.
cause the meal seriously costs a bomb.

when we reached school, we pieced everything up,
built a prototype and tried it out on the school pond (shhh..)
weijian stole some pebbles.
but i wonder if he returned it.
the moedel was super unstable.
it was too light.
no centre of gravity.

so we decided to go home to find some suitable materials.
went down to stall to temporarily "store" our stuff.
saw levine in it all by himself
preparing the dual poles for LMSC course next week...
damn enthu lor.

i heard many OBS stories.
interesting, and
disgusting
:x

shane

2009-06-12T16:20:00.002+08:00

yay:)
finally, i finished reading shane.
took me quite a while to do so.
now i have to start on the book review fast.
not much time left.
and the holiday is slowly slipping past.

come to think of it,
i still miss china.
it has been a year, though.

strike

2009-06-11T19:01:00.002+08:00

went down to orchid country club today
with noel and levine.
went there just to bowl for fun:)
anyway it was my first time.

we played 3 matches in total.
and,
my score sucks.
i have no strikes.
the bowling ball went into the gutter many times.

they said my hand kind of swerved
when releasing the ball.
so i got the wrong technique.
LOL
and levine sucks.

anyway, the OBS people are finally coming back.
and winston told me that the scouts are leaving for ubin camp tomorrow.
so good luck:)

untouched

2009-06-10T10:03:00.000+08:00

i just can't freaking get things done.
the pile of holiday homework on my table remains virtually untouched.
i don't have the heart.
hmmm. perhaps i should have went for OBS.
live in the wild for 5 days.
torture me for all i care.
cause when friday comes, it all comes down to the same thing.
they've done nothing.
i've done nothing too.

new

2009-06-09T18:31:00.000+08:00

goodbye wordpress.
i have given up on you.
i've come back to old blogger, yet again
& i like starting afresh:)

here are the rules to my new blog:
1. enjoy if you like this blog
2. if you don't, it's just a click away to leave this place
3. any resemblance to things living or dead is purely coincidental
4. tag more:D